Following the Herd

Just like everyone else it seems, I have an entirely new, exciting blog. I'm planning on updating this new one rather more often that this one - but be warned, it will be extremely toy soldier heavy...

The address is http://blog.target-gaming.com/

And if you want the RSS feed to run, put this link into blogger: http://blog.target-gaming.com/?feed=rss2

Warhammers

Woop woop! I've just received a copy of the new Warhammer rulebook. It's pretty cool!

Top 10 Bandwagon

Who doesn't like a good bandwagon? I know every time I see one, I want to jump on.

First up, Ford Escort Mk3 XR3i Cabriolet. Unfortunately, this example is missing the blue side stripes and 'Xr3i' decals that would be necessary for it to be in the garage. Well, I was born in Chelmsford.

Next up, somewhat more sensibly is an e46 BMW M3. Without the flappy paddle gearshift, please.

I need at least one track car, and this is it - the Porshce GT3RS.

There are a few bits of Detroit iron in this list - the first is, of course, the'73 'Cuda Hemi. It has a stroked 500 cubic inch engine, a six-barrelled carburettor and the awesome shaker scoop. Sure, it'll come off at the first corner, but it's cool. It also makes a good head for your giant robot. One of the most powerful muscle cars ever built at the time, it suffered largely from being released right before the Arab oil embargo. Oops.

The next bit of Detroit iron is, as Ben promised, a Sherman tank. They're reliable, cheap to run (for a tank) and it's easy to get spare parts. The one below (which I'd choose) is the M51 Isherman and has been modified by the IDF to mount an extra long 120mm gun, better suspension and air conditioning. Spec is everything when ordering your ideal vehicle.

It doesn't properly exist, but it should - the 2010 Corvette Stingray concept.

Next up, everyone else seems to have taken a 4x4, so here's my choice. Back in the late 70's Lamborghini's engineers were running out of sports car orders, so naturally, they decided to enter the US Army's future utility vehicle competition. After being thrown out for allegations of corruption, they later released it as a luxury SUV - with the Countach's V12 engine thrown in. Sylvester Stallone had one, giving rise to the nickname 'Rambo Lambo'. Hey, if things had gone a bit differently, the US Army could be driving Lamborghinis around Afghanistan and Iraq instead of Hummvees.

On the subject of Lamborghinis, my next choice is that 80's poster favourite, the Lamborghini Countach. It's so space age! I'll have mine in cherry red, please.

Marianne should like this one - the Cord 812 Supercharged. Way ahead of its time, it even has pop-up headlights. Perfect for the 30s supervillain in you - and check out those pipes on the flanks!

It's a bit modern and a bit clichéd, but every garage should have a Ferrari in it. I think I'd prefer a GT over a sports car, so the 599HGTE goes in.

Yes, even I like some Japanese cars. The Datsun 240Z's my favourite. Couldn't find a picture of one I wanted, but either silver with black bonnet, or Tokyo prefecture police colours for mine, please.

Finally, I had to have one British car in here - it was either this or the Aston Martin DBS. British racing green, and keep the sports tyres.

Extra points to those that can spot the geek references and the deliberate mistake.

No, YOU shut up Ben.

Well, that's my summer 2010 sorted then

Mmm... Upgrades

So I'm once again in the US - only a short trip this time, less than a week. As per usual, I've gone to Avis and got a silly rental car! GM released the new Camaro earlier this year and it's worked it's way through to the rental companies. Avis asked if I'd like to upgrade to one - how could I say no? It was either that or a Kia Optima.

And what do you know - it's actually not a bad car. It has a 3.6l V6 engine putting out 304bhp. It certainly feels a lot faster than the base model Mustang (this is the base Camaro), which rates only 210bhp from its 4.0l engine. The auto gearbox also feels more responsive, although I suspect the extra power helps there. In another plus it has independent rear suspension rather than the frankly primitive live rear axle. It's also feels slightly higher quality inside, but I think this is due to GM liberally borrowing from the bits box - the indicator stalks, trip computer, steering wheel buttons, light switch and electric window buttons are all identical to those in the new Opel/Vauxhall Vectra. Anyway, it's fun, fast and looks cool - I'm enjoying it! Here's a photo of it in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco.

And just for Sam, here's a US spec Volvo 240 in California licence plates.

Apocalypse Delayed

And so to the actual game itself! Apologies to all for the time it's taken to get this up here. Dom had kindly allowed us to use his living room as a battlefield as it a) was large enough b) had a wooden floor suited to models standing on it without falling over and c) his housemates were out.

We taped out an area 8' x 6' - about three times bigger than our normal boards and filled it with scenery, trying to represent a ruined industrial complex on the outskirts of a city, fading out to a wooded green area. We then had to decide deployment. Apocalypse uses a fairly entertaining system whereby once board edge is decided, each team has to 'bid' how long they think they're going to deploy. Each bid is decided in secret and then revealed simultaneously, with the lower bid then getting to deploy and go first (going first is generally a big advantage in 40k). The downside of bidding low is any models that you don't get on the board can't be used until later in the game, so you have to think about it a bit. Team Evil, desperate to go first, made an optimistic bid of four minutes, which led to the entertaining spectacle of Pat, Nicola and Jason speed-deploying an infantry army. They seemed slightly put out when they saw our bid of twenty minutes - enough time to deploy our tanks and still get a cup of tea, over which we chose our Strategic Assets - the various support each side had brought to the battle.

Despite the time limit, both sides managed to get their desired forces down - Team Evil deliberately left their Daemons off the board, ready to be summoned gibbering from the warp later. This left the board with the Scythes of the Emperor operating in the woods against the Thousand Sons and a variety of Chaos Dreadnoughts. A combined Imperial/Crimson Fist armoured column was headed for the traitor infantry horde through the industrial ruins. Supporting the Imperial forces was the Warhound Titan of Legio Aurific and the Thousand Sons' Silver Tower of Tzeentch was using its protective mystcial wards to provide cover to the Traitors' infantry. Its BEAM OF POWER! would most likely come in handy for removing armoured vehicles. In addition, the traitors also revealed their DOOMSDAY DEVICE! Jason and his cabal of scheming sorcerors had been working particularly hard lately, constructing in addition to the Silver Tower a fiendish device to threaten the honest Imperial citizens with. They had to be stopped! But not until after lunch.

With the generals' bellies filled with pizza, the carnage began!

Team Evil began with a headlong charge for the Imperial lines with supporting fire from the Noise Marines of the Thousand Sons, with only some of the Dreadnoughts proving to be suffering from insanity. With the benefit of 'hugs' from another Dreadnought (parking a sane Dreadnought in front of the recalcitrant one's guns), the friendly fire was kept to a minimum. Lucikly, all this shooting was fairly ineffectual, with only a small number of Imperial losses, and one Chaos loss (note the lack of Imperial Fist casualties - clearly a sign of superior tactics).

The Imperials replied with a hail of fire from Vindicator Squadrons, Predator battle tanks, Devestator squads, a Titan and three separate orbiting space craft. Not to be outdone by the other chapter masters, Captain Taelos had chosen the strategic asset of firing giant lasers at the Chaos army from space. This had the desired effect of vaporising an entire squad of Emperor's Children.

The game proceeded, in typical 40k fashion towards an enjoyably huge ruck in the middle. The Chaos horde ran as fast as their legs/tentacles/wings/slug mounts could carry them towards the Imperial lines, whilst the better equipped loyalists sped in in their armoured vehicles. Rhino rush! Once the frothing horde in the industrial plant had been softened up by Demolisher Cannons, Plasma Blastguns and Turbo Lasers, the Imperial and Crimson Fists, under the Command of Taelos, disgorged from their Rhino transports and unleashed fiery death from several flamers. Many traitors caught fire, but many still stood - unfortunately it tended to be the mighty killing machines that still stood. The loyalists braced themselves for the inevitable charge...

The Imperial and Crimson Fist Terminators held off the World Eaters, led by Kharn (KHAAAARN!) the Betrayer and a winged Khorne Lord with a Daemon weapon (+11 attacks! PLUS ELEVEN!), whist the Tactical Marines were assaulted by a Sorceror Lord leading more Khorne Berserkers. In the centre, though, was the big re-match everyone had been waiting for, the grudge match - Taelos vs N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa! Fortunately for Taelos, the new Chaos Codex had not been kind to the Slaaneshi traitor and when the dust settled, one stood and one had fallen... N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa had fallen and the victor was.... well, okay it was Crusher Gibson with his giant smashing Power Fist. But the main point is that Taelos got to see N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa crushed. If your goons do it at your command, it's kind of like you doing it, right?

Meanwhile the ruck was sucking in more and more troops, with Thunder Hammer Terminators, Dreadnoughts and even Pat's child soldiers being driven into the meat grinder. Both sides' heroes were cutting a bloody swathe, Nicola's Chaos commanders in particular accounting for many marines. Fortunately, I'd taken arguably the most cost effective special character in the game - Imperial Fist Captain Lysander, who managed to remove three of the four characters with his mighty bopping stick, also known as the Fist of Dorn. This left the loyalists in a mopping up action and claiming objectives. With the D3 Oil refinery, the Doomsday Device, the mysterious ruins and the Dinosaur Skull in possession of the good guys, it became clear that Team Evil had been forced back. Chalk up one for the Good Guys!

Man of the Match perhaps inevetibly went to the Warhound, responsible for removing dozens of Chaos Marines, a Defiler, two Dreadnoughts and the Silver Tower of Tzeentch. Pat felt that there was no point targeting it as doing so would soak up too much fire power. Jason disagrees and has purchased a Bloodthirster Daemon for the re-match...

Highlights of the game included:

• The Doomsday device activation! Team Evil followed the activation procedure to a tee, with their demands as follows (guess who ordered each!): Space Wolves must from now on wear pink, loyalist's bolters must now fire kittens, and that N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa must be brought the head of Captain Taelos! Needless to say, we don't negotiate with devil-worshipping terrorists, but before we could send any response they had already activated it and disintegrated Dr. Octavius and attendant tactical squad. Boo to terrorists!

• Andrew's commander, Master Thracius, revealed at the start of the game that he was carrying the fabled Power Scythe of Sotha, making him virtually unstoppable in close combat (in game terms, it doubled his attacks and made him Strength 10). The downside of this is that if he falls during the game, the enemy counts as holding an extra objective... see below.

• Jason's terrifyingly mysterious Silver Tower of Tzeentch was a real star, utilising mystic wards to protect the onrush of lunatic infantry. Its BEAM OF POWER! was responsible for much destruction, destroying Land Raider tanks, Dreadnoughts and even an unwary Iago Thracius, Andrew's commander. In this Jason showed the classic 40K solution to ludicrously powerful close combat characters - a gaint cannon. With Thracius down, the Chaos forces could claim the objective of capturing his holy relic weapon.

• Pat's army didn't just consist of Kiss rejects and ASBO recipients hopped up on goofballs - there was also the Keeper of Secrets (otherwise known as the 'Doom Cow') lurking in the Warp. On materialising, it promptly inflicted the Dance of Slaanesh on its enemies, playing them like puppets. No-one was left unscathed, not even the Warhound Titan, as they all danced a merry jig - imagine a 50 foot war robot hopping and dancing on the spot like a loon and you can't go far wrong. It didn't really achieve very much, but it did complete its primary objective of making Pat laugh.

• In typical style, Pat proceeded to predict with a cackle, on the turn of the Chaos charge that they'd kill, "ooh, about forty Space marines". Of course, this being Pat, when the dust had settled and we counted the casualties, it turned out be... exactly forty Space Marines. Curse you Pat!

• Prior to the game, a cabal of Tzeentchian sorcerors had been working deep in the warp for 1,000 years, creating dark ensorcellments to enslave a dozen horrific Daemons and encasing them within a special daemonic bolt shell - the mighty DAEMON SHELL. Jason's terminators only revealled this on the turn they teleported in, ready to help storm the loyalists' battle line. The good guys held their collective breath as the sky turned black and the gun was aimed... Unfortunately, it turned out one of the sorcerors had made a mistake at step 4,890,567, three hundred years earlier as the gun proceeded to explode, generating a short lived but powerful (and ironic) warp vortex centred on the Terminators themselves, sucking them in forever. Oops! When it comes to cabals of sorcerors, I definitely rate the ones that built the Silver Tower over the ones that built the Daemon shell.

In summary, I highly recommend the Apocalypse version of the 40K game. It's great fun, and the team aspect really adds to it. The stars of the show are, of course, the war engines. The only drawback is the space needed, which isn't available to everyone. Overall two thumbs up and we're all really looking forward to the next battle!

Apocalypse Last Week

It took about a week longer than I planned, but here's the Apocalypse update! First off, here are the other four armies (due to ease of editing, the game report will be in a separate post):

Dom brought 2000 points of Crimson Fists, led by Pedro Kantor. Dom included his newly bought and painted Land Raider Redeemer, hoping to burn Traitor Marines with its spicy hot Inferno Cannons. Primary reason Commander Pedro Kantor isn't as good as the Mighty Captain Taelos: Whilst his planet was under attack by Orks, he accidentally detonated an ICBM on his own fortress monastery, killing two thirds of his own chapter. And they still allow this man the Orbital Strike special rule?

Andrew brought his old Scythes of the Emperor army, led by Chapter Commander Iago Thracius. Whilst they're not quite a shiny as his stunning new Scythes models, it's still a great looking army and holds a lot of fond memories for him. Primary reason Commander Iago Thracius isn't as good as the Dashing Captain Taelos: He lost most of his chapter and his homeworld to the Tyranids and to re-build his chapter has been reduced to letting anybody in. The man clearly has no taste.

Nicola, signing up for team evil, went for a Chaos Undecided army, mixing Nurgle Death Guard, Khorne World Eaters and some of her own Dark Brotherhood Traitor Marines. Again, great looking models, and the eagle-eyed amongst you will recognise the World Eaters from page 228 of the current 40K rulebook. Although it includes four HQ choices, starting with a winged Khorne Lord and a Sorcerer in Terminator armour, the two contingents are led by Khârn the Betrayer (Kill! Maim! Burn!) and a Death Guard Commander under the control of a being known only as 'Nippy the Wonder Slug' (counts as Chaos Lord on Nurgle Palanquin). Primary reason Khârn the Betrayer isn't as good as the Sagacious Captain Taelos: Taelos has a vocabulary of more than three words. Primary reason 'Nippy the Wonder Slug' isn't as good as the Handsome Captain Taelos: Captain Taelos isn't a slug.

Finally... The player shipped in from Ireland on Ryanair, the Commander shipped in from the Warp on his personal ship Ack Ack the Slaughter Palace, completing the four flavours of Chaos, it's Pat Dunford and the Emperor's Children led by the hateful renegade, N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa. There was a period at the old GW Bristol when you could go into the store during the day and you would be almost guaranteed to see the forces of Slaanesh arrayed against my Imperial Fists. Sadly, with Pat now living overseas there aren't many chances for re-matches any more, but with an Apocalypse game arranged, the chance for the old foes to meet again was too good to miss. N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa brings with him a variety of Traitor Marines, Terminators and Dreadnoughts along with a Lost and the Damned Apocalypse formation of Chaos Cultists and a mighty Keeper of Secrets from the Warp (or possibly the Daemon Codex). Primary reason N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa isn't as good as the Heroic Captain Taelos: N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa leads a rag tag mix of child soldiers and failed musicians, whilst Taelos leads the mightiest and yellowest Space Marines of them all.