Apocalypse Last Week

It took about a week longer than I planned, but here's the Apocalypse update! First off, here are the other four armies (due to ease of editing, the game report will be in a separate post):

Dom brought 2000 points of Crimson Fists, led by Pedro Kantor. Dom included his newly bought and painted Land Raider Redeemer, hoping to burn Traitor Marines with its spicy hot Inferno Cannons. Primary reason Commander Pedro Kantor isn't as good as the Mighty Captain Taelos: Whilst his planet was under attack by Orks, he accidentally detonated an ICBM on his own fortress monastery, killing two thirds of his own chapter. And they still allow this man the Orbital Strike special rule?

Andrew brought his old Scythes of the Emperor army, led by Chapter Commander Iago Thracius. Whilst they're not quite a shiny as his stunning new Scythes models, it's still a great looking army and holds a lot of fond memories for him. Primary reason Commander Iago Thracius isn't as good as the Dashing Captain Taelos: He lost most of his chapter and his homeworld to the Tyranids and to re-build his chapter has been reduced to letting anybody in. The man clearly has no taste.

Nicola, signing up for team evil, went for a Chaos Undecided army, mixing Nurgle Death Guard, Khorne World Eaters and some of her own Dark Brotherhood Traitor Marines. Again, great looking models, and the eagle-eyed amongst you will recognise the World Eaters from page 228 of the current 40K rulebook. Although it includes four HQ choices, starting with a winged Khorne Lord and a Sorcerer in Terminator armour, the two contingents are led by Khârn the Betrayer (Kill! Maim! Burn!) and a Death Guard Commander under the control of a being known only as 'Nippy the Wonder Slug' (counts as Chaos Lord on Nurgle Palanquin). Primary reason Khârn the Betrayer isn't as good as the Sagacious Captain Taelos: Taelos has a vocabulary of more than three words. Primary reason 'Nippy the Wonder Slug' isn't as good as the Handsome Captain Taelos: Captain Taelos isn't a slug.

Finally... The player shipped in from Ireland on Ryanair, the Commander shipped in from the Warp on his personal ship Ack Ack the Slaughter Palace, completing the four flavours of Chaos, it's Pat Dunford and the Emperor's Children led by the hateful renegade, N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa. There was a period at the old GW Bristol when you could go into the store during the day and you would be almost guaranteed to see the forces of Slaanesh arrayed against my Imperial Fists. Sadly, with Pat now living overseas there aren't many chances for re-matches any more, but with an Apocalypse game arranged, the chance for the old foes to meet again was too good to miss. N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa brings with him a variety of Traitor Marines, Terminators and Dreadnoughts along with a Lost and the Damned Apocalypse formation of Chaos Cultists and a mighty Keeper of Secrets from the Warp (or possibly the Daemon Codex). Primary reason N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa isn't as good as the Heroic Captain Taelos: N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa N'kaa leads a rag tag mix of child soldiers and failed musicians, whilst Taelos leads the mightiest and yellowest Space Marines of them all.

Choose the Form of Your Destruction!

As promised, here is Jason's lunatic army of Tzeentch. Led by Gozer the traveller, mighty Daemon Prince of Tzeentch, aka the Doomchicken, aka Mr. Cadbury's Parrot, he has a 10,000 year old deeply fiendish plan to do... something. Who knows? To steal all your chocolate mini eggs? Who understands the ways of Tzeentch?

Jason has been feverishly working on his latest whacky creation, the Silver Tower of Tzeentch. This thing packs a Beam of Power! and multiple Bolts of Change. Its mystical protective wards also provide cover to all those nearby. I asked Jason where the doors on the side go and he just cackled.

Anyway, here's the entire army, with its assorted tanks, infantry, giant magic robots and bizarre floating fish daemons.

Jason's also been building a 'Doomsday Device' with which to threaten the loyal citizens of the Imperium. More to follow later!

Apocalypse Saturday

At the request of various people, I'm going to be running a series of updates of sorts of the Warhammer 40,000 Apocalypse game we're playing on Saturday. We have the teams sorted out:

The loyalist Imperial Space Marines (or team 'good guys'), which consist of:

• Dom with his Crimson Fists led by the nacho-munching Commander Pedro Kantor
• Andrew with the Scythes of the Emperor led by the fanboys' favourite, Commander Iago Thracius
• Myself with the mighty Imperial Fists Space Marines, led by the heroic and dashing Captain Taelos, ably supported by Brother Morlock (and some guy named Lysander - whoooo?)

The Traitor Space Marines (or team 'evil' boo, hiss - they also have game winning American drugs), which consists of:

• Jason with his Tzeentchian Thousand Sons, led by the Daemon Prince Gozer the Traveller (otherwise known as 'Mr. Cadburys Parrot')
• Nicola with a rag-tag assortment of evil, led by Kharn the Betrayer (he of pub quiz fame) and some being known only as 'Nippy the Wonder-Slug'
• Finally, Pat with the Slaaneshi forces of the Emperor's Children, led by the well known pervert, N'Kaa N'Kaa N'Kaa N'Kaa

I'll be putting photos of all the armies online, but to begin with, I'll start with the yellowest army - mine.

I started by pulling out all the yellow models I own.

Then I had to form a cunning army of 2000 points. I've taken a liberal smattering of infantry in troop transports, some Vindicator Siege Tanks, a Dreadnought and some Assault Terminators with Thunder Hammers and Storm Shields. These will be led by Captain Taelos, with a supporting cast of Captain Lysander, Techmarine Dr. Octavius, Lieutenant Crusher Gibson and Morlock. I also have what every aspiring galactic hero needs - a GIANT ROBOT - the Warhound Titan of Legio Aurific! Armed with a Double-Barrelled Turbo-Laser Destructor and a Plasma Blastgun, this should vaporise all in its path! It should be noted that this is in addition to the 2000 points - the traitors will be bringing their own war engines to the party.

Tomorrow should see Jason's army on the blog. Unfortunately, he's been feverishly slaving over creating some kind of magical pyramid of destruction, muttering something about 'Beams of Power'... Sounds like bad news...

But is it art?

Found these under my table the other day. Many of them are collaberative, all are produced under the influence of inspiration-inducing substances. (I recommend clicking to expand them, to get the full, unadulterated horror)

From the 40K Doubles tournament pub quiz at Warhammer World, here is Kharn the betrayer.

And his compatriot, Kubist Kharn.

A cowboy looking cool, horse by Charlie

Some terrible robot. But what's he saying?

The Autobot, Prowl.

And finally, Death Pig on Mutant horse, accompanied by Nazi Fox.

Does anyone have a copy of 'Megatron riding Death Horse 2000'? He's my favourite.

RIP Pontiac

Just read some sad news: Stricken car manufacturer GM are shutting down their entire Pontiac division. Positioned as a more sporty brand than Chevy, Pontiac produced such cars as the Firebird and the GTO. Some of the later fare was less than spectacular (the Pontiac Grand Prix, to my mind exemplified everything wrong with the US car industry), but they did produce some top cars. I think it's a bit sad, but unfortunately inevitable; there're simply too many car plants and brands in the world at the moment. GM are right to concentrate on the remaining brands, although I personally expected Buick to go first as they sell so few of them. I guess there's just not much difference in market position between Chevy and Pontiac these days. Well, I'll always remember driving down to LA in my rented Pontiac Solstice.

Anyway, here's a picture of a Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am.

Hammertime: The Sequel

***UPDATE***

Played against Tau this evening, 1,000 points annihilation. Scraped a win, despite the school boy error of splitting my force, partly through Lysander's sheer badassery, but also through krak grenades smashing tanks! Woohoo!

Hammertime

So, I'm in the States! Last week was a bit awkward, a series of meetings between The Company and our supplier. All got a bit fraught with emotion. Ho hum, not sure I can really write about that here.

On to more fun stuff! (Warning - this post contains a lot of Warhammer 40K)

Well, I've had a few good games of 40K over the last few days. The hammers have certainly had an impact ( ho, ho, ho), cutting a swathe before them. Three games so far, two wins and a draw - and I think I'm learning just how different the current version of 40K is from the previous.

First up was Vince (an Irish-American, who I make a point of oppressing whenever I see him) and his Imperial Guard. Unfortunately, let's face it, the current (old?) codex is not very competetive. Infantry exploded from Whirlwind barrages, got set on fire by tactical squads, whilst Old Man Telion showed his boys how it's done by blowing up their Basilisk. Lysander and Squad Hammer just strode up the middle hammering things, tanks, infantry, characters, whatever. There was a particularly epic combat where the Terminators, in typically Imperial Fist style, charged a unit of ratlings and routed them off the board (For those that don't play 40K, imagine 8' tall genetically enhanced super-warriors wearing tank armour and wielding giant electro-hammers. Now imagine them fighting Hobbits). Oh yes, songs shall be sung about that battle. Anyway, I had both objectives, Vince had none, cue mock-outraged shouts of how Storm Shields are 'broken'.

Next up was a daft Apocalypse game between Imperial forces and the new Ork Stompa - which is a much nicer kit than the photos make out. Again, if you don't play 40K, imagine a 40' tall robot with chainsaws and cannons for arms - and a beer belly. The first turns consisted of inneffectual fire from Imperials with the Stompa's main guns wiping out whole squads. Fortunately, the Imperial Fists were there to save the day! Despite a Chainsaw the size of a lorry, the Stompa couldn't get through the Storm Shields and the Terminators were safe. The Stompa on the other hand, was detonated in a single blow from the mighty Captain Lysander and his Fist of Dorn Hammer (Three structure points from one hit!) leaving the Stompa in a ruin and the game over.

The final game was 1000 points against an Ork army. An Ork army where over half the points were sunk into a single unit of Nobz warbikers led by Wazdakka Gutzmek. Well, I figured as I'm probably going to face these all the time at tournaments, I may as well get some practice at facing them (Right, 9' tall 'orrible green aliens with giant axes, robot bodies, filled with drugs and riding giant motorbikes equipped with huge machine guns. Oh, and led by a 10' tall green alien with a hydraulic Klaw and armed with a huge ray gun - they're HORRIBLE). Fortunately - and you may be noticing a theme here - Captain Lysander and the Thunder Hammer Terminators were there to soak up the horror. Two-wound models with medics don't like instant kill Thunder Hammers. I lost the Terminators, but Lysander finished them off before hammering a Battle Wagon to shreds. The remaining Orks were no match for the rest of the marines and were roundly slaughtered. Unfortunately, the result was a draw as three pesky Orks remained on the opposing objective, having survived four rounds of shelling. Grr... with another turn, I could have done it. Oh well.

So, to sum up, in three games, Squad Hammer have taken out:

• 25 Guardsmen (including HQ)
• Leman Russ Demolisher tank
• 10 Ratlings
• An Ork Stompa
• Seven Nobs Bikes, including Painboy
• Wazdakka Gutzmek
• An Ork Battle Wagon

In every game, they've killed at least their points value. They're pretty powerful! And I think I've worked out a general tactic with them. It's not very subtle, and it's very similar to the Ork one of loaading the Ork Nobz up on bikes and smashing all before it. But basically, that's pretty much it. You have one or two devestatingly powerful shock units (and the old 'eggs in one basket' issue isn't as important now due to the deimse of victory points) which rampage through the enemy army whilst your horde of Troops choices scuttle to the objectives. I'm not too worried about spending points on making the troops more killy as they're there to hold objectives, although I'm willing to spend points to make them tougher. It seems to be working fine so far! And I plan on taking it one step further by doubling the size of the hammer boys from five to ten. I look forward to seeing how they fare at Vanguard Vanquish in April.

And finally, just to annoy Ben, here's my current rental car. Unfortunately they were all out of Dodge Challengers.

And for those of you who aren't interested in toy soldiers or cars, here's a photo of San Francisco at night.